you want to be a victim? Curl up in a ball? expose yourself as an un loved wounded soul. You want to carve your misery on the walls of the world? let everyone know just how terrible your life is? you want to be a victim, you want to be my victim.
you want your friends to hate me? threaten me and…
Honestly tempted to reactivate my facebook so i can bribe people to come over and make me feel like i have friends
Facebook friends
everytime you close your eyes everytime you close your eyes everytime you close your eyes everytime you close your eyes
Confetti lightbulbs shine through a windshield
through an exhausted face
through to the black and blue place
the bruised light in the small dusty space
The party is always banging,
or is it trembling,
violently shaking,
streamers fluttering into your hair, everywhere,
can’t see past the cigarette flare and
the disinterested stare
Last night I smoked DMT and really experienced firsthand the fact that we are spinning in a vortex and how inconceivably, what is the word, not lucky, but inconceivably…coincidental or ineffable I guess, or magnificent, or beneficent, our existence really is. A little rock was rolling around in the vaccuum of space and evolved and evolved due to exposure to light and heat and began to liven itself and grow, like a fungus, and kept going and going, and found a home, an orbit, that allowed it to keep growing and growing and becoming aware of itself as a little rock flying around space, and then it got more and more grown and aware and here we are and holy shit, last year I posted something about dmt, now I’ll do the same exact thing. vwomp.
basically my room was moving around and stretching and fractaled and bending and it was able to keep bending and meshing the colors and meshing my senses until they were just a blur, a spinning blur all around me, it was just some kind of drug-induced euphemism for the way the world really is when you beat down our mental constructs, which I know, and have always known, that we are in the middle of chaos, but I was able to literally experience the chaos exactly as it is, I was able to break down every wall, I was able to see the truth
MY MIND WAS BLOWN BY DMT
Being an english major is so retarded and I hate it so much but then I love it and then I burn all my books and then I bring them back to life with my healing tears and then I write an essay while flying through midair after jumping off a building and land safely on top of a balloon that takes me off to scary places in the sky where all the strangest characters infest my heads with scary words and then I float back down and I’m cozy by a fire with a leatherbound book, thinking about my degree and staring down the dark black and dust white tunnel of the infinite novels, plays, and papers of Planet earth
the headlights look like diamonds, the taillights burn like coals
‘Tis the refuge we take when the unreality of the world weighs too heavy on our tiny heads. Relax; sink into it; you’re no better than anybody else.Martha, from Edward Albee’s Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf
